Songs for your next mixtape - November 2011

A new month is upon us, and as such, a new playlist is due. This month I went for some songs to lift us out of our end-of-academic-year blues. Hopefully some of these tracks put you in a better mood during this exam period. And you're not taking exams, hopefully they give you a good feeling anyway :)

Also, I decided to add the name of the album/EP that each track is from, so you can look it up if you wish to acquire it along with more by that artist.

Track - Artist/Band - Album

Lust for Life - Girls - Album

Quiet Dog Bite Hard - Mos Def - The Ecstatic

I Miss You - Blink 182 - Blink 182

Volcano (Four Tet Remix) - Anti-Pop Consortium - Volcano EP

All That We Perceive - Thievery Corporation - The Richest Man In Babylon

Straight Outta Compton - N.W.A - Straight Outta Compton

Whoever You Are - Brian Jonestown Massacre - Give It Back!

Blood - The Middle East - The Recordings of the Middle East

She Holds A Grudge - Jet - Shaka Rock

So It Goes - Verve - A Northern Soul

Do Me A Favour - Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare

Simple Things - Belle and Sebastian - The Boy With the Arab Strap

Trouble - Coldplay - Parachutes

She Lives In My Lap - Andre 3000 - The Love Below

Two Shoes - The Cat Empire - Two Shoes

Cannonball - The Breeders - Last Splash

Stay Don't Go - Spoon - Kill the Moonlight

One Step Closer - U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

Why Doesn't Andy? - The Whitlams - Undeniably

Video Games - Lana Del Rey - Video Games EP

And good luck to all those playing the ponies today!

update: you can now enjoy this playlist at 8tracks.com - http://8tracks.com/flexoskeleton

Who is the next Cameron Ling?

With Cameron Ling announcing that he will retire from the AFL, it begs a question of all football commentators and pundits. I speak not of who the new Geelong captain will be, or who will hold the honour of being the game's best tagger, but of who will now be regarded as the ugliest player in the League. Ling has left some big furry orange shoes to be filled, and Flexoskeleton would like to name the following candidates.

1. Aaron Sandilands

Already one of the tallest and heaviest men to play the game, there is no reason this man-mountain should not also hold the honour of the game's ugliest mug. Similar to Ling, Sandilands is one of the premier niche players in the competition and has earned the respect of his peers despite his appearance.

2. Chad Cornes

Although Chadwick announced his retirement this year, he has been strongly linked with new team Greater Western Sydney and if he plays, we believe Chad has a very strong chance of taking Ling's mantle. Chad, like his father Graham, has a truly haggard appearance. However he differs from Ling in that he also has a personality to match. What has endeared us to Ling over the years was his loveable character in spite of his truly unsightly looks. In the case of Chad, it seems he has no redeeming features as a human whatsoever. (OK, maybe he was a reasonable footballer...)

3. Dean Brogan

Dean is in a similar boat to Chad in that he is officially retired, but expected to play on in a mentoring role at GWS next year. He is also similar to Chad in that he has a truly ugly personality to match his 'smacked-arse' face. Flexoskeleton sees no reason why the former Adelaide 36ers player should not hold the position of the AFL's ugliest player except that the bloke might take it as a compliment.

4. Jarryd Roughead

Flexskeleton understands it is tough being compared to Luke Hodge and Lance Franklin every weekend, but even without these comparisons, Roughead is a pretty ugly dude. Roughead is however a top-class player and is a redhead like Ling. He is a more than suitable candidate.

5. Lewis Roberts-Thomson

I do not believe words are necessary. Poor Lewis. At least he'll always be a premiership player.

6. Todd Banfield

Todd is the ideal player to take over as the games ugliest player. A fiery red-nut and a nuggety style of play, he is the most Ling-like player around. Furthermore, he's hideous. This is Flexoskeleton's choice for the new ugliest man in AFL.

So there you have it. One of these men should be set to take one most revered and least respected titles in the AFL. Feel free to cast your vote or suggest new candidates in the comments.

As an end note, Flexoskeleton would like to acknowledge some retiring players who have been close to laying claim to Ling's crown their whole careers, but because of Ling's exceptional skill in this area, were never quite good enough. Cam Mooney, Leigh Brown and Brady Rawlings are also retiring this year and will never get hold the title as the game's ugmo. However, your faces will never be forgotten (unfortunately.)

Breaking news: Steve Jobs to be buried in revolutionary iCoffin

Even in death, Steve Jobs continues to break innovative ground. Apple has announced that Jobs, regarded both inside and outside Apple as a marketing and technological genius, will be buried in their latest product, the iCoffin.

The iCoffin is a sleek, all white box with one button for all coffin functions. Such functions include opening and closing the lid and a chime which will ring if Jobs is accidentally buried alive.

The former Apple CEO will be buried in the higher-end device which comes with 32GB of memory as well as Wifi and 3G connectivity. The device will run on iOS 5 and includes and 8 Megapixel camera. The device is expected to change the way coffins are used by everyday consumers.

An Apple spokesperson has said that the iCoffin is the perfect device for a dignified passing. "The iCoffin is what all Apple consumers should have for a peaceful iDeath and is designed for safe passage to the iAfterlife" they said.

Pundits have lauded the innovation, but critics have argued that consumers are simply being duped in the media circus that is about to surround Jobs' death.

Les Monet, of technology magazine "Tech Today" stated that consumers should be wary of being buried in dated hardware. "The market is about to be flooded with smart-coffins following Jobs' passing" he said. "As we have seen with the iPhone, smart coffins running Android will be better and more customisable for consumers."

"We have seen with Apple that they upgrade their products every 12-18 months and consumers buried in the first release iCoffin could be left behind in the cold, cold ground."

It is predicted that Google and Microsoft are just around the corner with smart coffins of their own. Google's coffin in particular has been identified as a potential game changer. The Google smart-coffin will track peoples movements as they turn in their graves, delivering targeted advertisements to the corpses and their grieving relatives.

For most Apple fans however, there is only one way to go.

Long-time Apple fan-boy and terminal cancer patient Jeff Brown of Goodwood, Adelaide, said, "I don't care about dying anymore, as long as I can be buried in the latest product by Apple." When we asked Jeff how he would feel when the iCoffin 2 comes out, he said "Just dig me up and upgrade me."

Naturally, the iCoffin has been designed in California's Silicon Valley, and is to be mass produced at minimal cost in Chinese factories. The 3G/Wifi 32GB model will start at $AUD50,000.

Songs for your next mixtape - October 2011

Every month I'll publish a list of 20 songs that you may not have heard before. Some are new and some are old, and hopefully they'll help you discover something new. The playlist is designed to be listened to in order for full effect. Enjoy :)

October 2011

Notice - Gomez

Ritual Union - Little Dragon

You Can't Have It All - Ash

Midnight - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Champion - Kanye West

Countdown - Phoenix

Heaven is a Halfpipe - OPM

Silver Line - Faux Pas

Two Kinds of Right - The Grates

Roll With It - Oasis

Hurt Me Soul - Lupe Fiasco

No Money - Kings of Leon

Don't Get Lost in Heaven - Gorillaz

Turns Me On - Big Boi

Acceptable in the 80's - Calvin Harris

Is it Just Me? - The Darkness

Wristwatch - Hungry Kids of Hungary

Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson

Lemon Sunrise - Powderfinger

You're Going to Make Me Lonesome When You Go - Bob Dylan

update: you can now enjoy this playlist at 8tracks.com - http://8tracks.com/flexoskeleton