Breaking news: Steve Jobs to be buried in revolutionary iCoffin

Even in death, Steve Jobs continues to break innovative ground. Apple has announced that Jobs, regarded both inside and outside Apple as a marketing and technological genius, will be buried in their latest product, the iCoffin.

The iCoffin is a sleek, all white box with one button for all coffin functions. Such functions include opening and closing the lid and a chime which will ring if Jobs is accidentally buried alive.

The former Apple CEO will be buried in the higher-end device which comes with 32GB of memory as well as Wifi and 3G connectivity. The device will run on iOS 5 and includes and 8 Megapixel camera. The device is expected to change the way coffins are used by everyday consumers.

An Apple spokesperson has said that the iCoffin is the perfect device for a dignified passing. "The iCoffin is what all Apple consumers should have for a peaceful iDeath and is designed for safe passage to the iAfterlife" they said.

Pundits have lauded the innovation, but critics have argued that consumers are simply being duped in the media circus that is about to surround Jobs' death.

Les Monet, of technology magazine "Tech Today" stated that consumers should be wary of being buried in dated hardware. "The market is about to be flooded with smart-coffins following Jobs' passing" he said. "As we have seen with the iPhone, smart coffins running Android will be better and more customisable for consumers."

"We have seen with Apple that they upgrade their products every 12-18 months and consumers buried in the first release iCoffin could be left behind in the cold, cold ground."

It is predicted that Google and Microsoft are just around the corner with smart coffins of their own. Google's coffin in particular has been identified as a potential game changer. The Google smart-coffin will track peoples movements as they turn in their graves, delivering targeted advertisements to the corpses and their grieving relatives.

For most Apple fans however, there is only one way to go.

Long-time Apple fan-boy and terminal cancer patient Jeff Brown of Goodwood, Adelaide, said, "I don't care about dying anymore, as long as I can be buried in the latest product by Apple." When we asked Jeff how he would feel when the iCoffin 2 comes out, he said "Just dig me up and upgrade me."

Naturally, the iCoffin has been designed in California's Silicon Valley, and is to be mass produced at minimal cost in Chinese factories. The 3G/Wifi 32GB model will start at $AUD50,000.